It has been more than a year since my last blog post.
Reading all my previous entries brought back so many memories. Many I had actually forgotten about because..well, life.
Gosh where do I even begin?!
I'm just over a year into work. Being a houseman is everything I was never really prepared for. Who is, really? My hours are long, my social life is non-existent and my days off are spent sleeping, sometimes shopping. The one good thing out of it though is that I'm financially independent. You win some you lose some right?
Yeah life is perpetually tiring but it's fulfilling. Takes a lot of effort to look on the bright side.
I'm writing this because I'm currently under quarantine. Have been for the past one week now thanks to this Covid-19 situation that's been going on. I can't remember the last time I had this much time on my hands and could actually get a decent nights sleep.
Aside from work and family, I met a guy.
The guy.
We met online as teenagers. He was the very first guy I had a crush on as my hormones were developing. We used to spent hours on Yahoo messenger. After a few months mom found out about it and we lost touch for a few years. He finally found me on Facebook and we reconnected. I really don't remember our conversations then. But I do remember really, actually talking to him again in October 2018. We exchanged phone numbers and heard each other's voices for the first time in like 14 years I think and we just hit it off.
I feel like I've found my best friend and lover all in the same person. And we say this to each other a lot. It's surreal sometimes. A lot of the time actually.
He lives way over in the US so its a long distance relationship.
Being with him is like being in a Nicholas Sparks movie. That's probably one of the best ways I can describe it for you guys. And I'm not exaggerating here.
He has made multiple trips to where I am to spend time with me and make memories with me. He sends me the cheesiest things over text. I have lost count as to how many bouquets of flowers I've received since we got together. All these cute little things aside, he's everything I've ever wanted in a life partner. He really is. To go in depth about it would take aaaaages to finish this post but I mean it when I say he checks every single one of my boxes. I simply never thought it would happen. But it has and it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Gizmo probably takes top spot, I'm sorry bubs 😋
I'm not gonna lie though. LDRs are a lot of work and they take so much more time, effort and energy compared to usual relationships where both partners are in the same place and are able to have a physical relationship. We've worked through a lot of things this past year and we still are.
I'm learning a lot about myself as a person. It's a journey of self growth and discovery for us both I think. And as tough as it is, it's also very rewarding.
He is someone who is ever present. It doesn't matter what it is I'm feeling or going through, he is always there for me. Physically when able to, but otherwise he's just always there. A lot of the time I take it for granted that he's there. I sometimes forget to just stop what I'm doing and imagine what it would be like if something were to happen and he wasn't there for me to rely or depend on or even just call to talk to about it.
I have been very self sufficient and independent over the years. I've never wanted to depend on anyone for anything. I was taught to always do things for myself and to not depend on anyone to do things for me. Knowing that I can depend on someone else now is still very foreign to me. I know I don't have to, but I can if I want to. I can be very stubborn. He knows that all too well.
No but honestly having him there has been very uplifting and I am ever so grateful to him for that. Among other things of course.
I am someone who loves my space. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you I can stay in for days and days and not get bored because I value and enjoy my own company. Being in this relationship with him has taught me what it's like to have to give up some of that space and make room for someone else in my life. I still struggle with that to be honest. Some days, even on my off days, all I want to do is not be a part of any active conversation via text on my phone. But when you're in an LDR, text messages, voice calls and video calls are all you've got to stay connected (minus snail mail). I'm constantly glued to my phone and it sometimes gets overwhelming because I want to escape work messages - which come in on my phone - but I still need to be on my phone to stay connected to my person, ya know? So that's a conflict for me which I am still working on.
Anyway! The main reason I wanted to write this entry, was to tell my special person (and the world - whoever reads this pfft), that he is so, so very loved. I know I say it and I text it but I don't think I say it enough.
Thank you for loving me on days when I'm not so very loveable *coughcoughliketodaycough*. Thank you for looking at me first thing in the morning and still thinking - in your little delusional mind - that I'm the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Thank you for putting up with my period moods. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face and bringing joy into my life. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to always come see me and make our little getaways so memorable. Thank you for being you, for being so kind, so considerate, so loving, so forgiving, so patient and just so wonderful.
Thank you for being ever present, for being understanding, for indulging my fantasies, for making me feel (cliche I know) like the luckiest girl in the entire universe! Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for not only encouraging me to dream, but for dreaming with me. Thank you. Thank you for showing me everyday what love is.
I was binge watching a Korean series earlier (Something in the Rain) and there's this one part where the girl records a little love message to the guy and it goes:
" Thank you. Thank you for caring about me and loving me. I didn't know that I could be loved so much by someone. You probably didn't know how grateful and happy I am these days. I'm also learning a lot from you. I learned that love is about giving your all to that one special person to the best of your abilities. That's why when someone's in love they should love like you do."
It still baffles me how I've found someone so perfect. I truly am very blessed to have you.
I love you.
Meow.
Reading all my previous entries brought back so many memories. Many I had actually forgotten about because..well, life.
Gosh where do I even begin?!
I'm just over a year into work. Being a houseman is everything I was never really prepared for. Who is, really? My hours are long, my social life is non-existent and my days off are spent sleeping, sometimes shopping. The one good thing out of it though is that I'm financially independent. You win some you lose some right?
Yeah life is perpetually tiring but it's fulfilling. Takes a lot of effort to look on the bright side.
I'm writing this because I'm currently under quarantine. Have been for the past one week now thanks to this Covid-19 situation that's been going on. I can't remember the last time I had this much time on my hands and could actually get a decent nights sleep.
Aside from work and family, I met a guy.
We met online as teenagers. He was the very first guy I had a crush on as my hormones were developing. We used to spent hours on Yahoo messenger. After a few months mom found out about it and we lost touch for a few years. He finally found me on Facebook and we reconnected. I really don't remember our conversations then. But I do remember really, actually talking to him again in October 2018. We exchanged phone numbers and heard each other's voices for the first time in like 14 years I think and we just hit it off.
I feel like I've found my best friend and lover all in the same person. And we say this to each other a lot. It's surreal sometimes. A lot of the time actually.
He lives way over in the US so its a long distance relationship.
Being with him is like being in a Nicholas Sparks movie. That's probably one of the best ways I can describe it for you guys. And I'm not exaggerating here.
He has made multiple trips to where I am to spend time with me and make memories with me. He sends me the cheesiest things over text. I have lost count as to how many bouquets of flowers I've received since we got together. All these cute little things aside, he's everything I've ever wanted in a life partner. He really is. To go in depth about it would take aaaaages to finish this post but I mean it when I say he checks every single one of my boxes. I simply never thought it would happen. But it has and it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Gizmo probably takes top spot, I'm sorry bubs 😋
I'm not gonna lie though. LDRs are a lot of work and they take so much more time, effort and energy compared to usual relationships where both partners are in the same place and are able to have a physical relationship. We've worked through a lot of things this past year and we still are.
I'm learning a lot about myself as a person. It's a journey of self growth and discovery for us both I think. And as tough as it is, it's also very rewarding.
He is someone who is ever present. It doesn't matter what it is I'm feeling or going through, he is always there for me. Physically when able to, but otherwise he's just always there. A lot of the time I take it for granted that he's there. I sometimes forget to just stop what I'm doing and imagine what it would be like if something were to happen and he wasn't there for me to rely or depend on or even just call to talk to about it.
I have been very self sufficient and independent over the years. I've never wanted to depend on anyone for anything. I was taught to always do things for myself and to not depend on anyone to do things for me. Knowing that I can depend on someone else now is still very foreign to me. I know I don't have to, but I can if I want to. I can be very stubborn. He knows that all too well.
No but honestly having him there has been very uplifting and I am ever so grateful to him for that. Among other things of course.
I am someone who loves my space. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you I can stay in for days and days and not get bored because I value and enjoy my own company. Being in this relationship with him has taught me what it's like to have to give up some of that space and make room for someone else in my life. I still struggle with that to be honest. Some days, even on my off days, all I want to do is not be a part of any active conversation via text on my phone. But when you're in an LDR, text messages, voice calls and video calls are all you've got to stay connected (minus snail mail). I'm constantly glued to my phone and it sometimes gets overwhelming because I want to escape work messages - which come in on my phone - but I still need to be on my phone to stay connected to my person, ya know? So that's a conflict for me which I am still working on.
Anyway! The main reason I wanted to write this entry, was to tell my special person (and the world - whoever reads this pfft), that he is so, so very loved. I know I say it and I text it but I don't think I say it enough.
Thank you for loving me on days when I'm not so very loveable *coughcoughliketodaycough*. Thank you for looking at me first thing in the morning and still thinking - in your little delusional mind - that I'm the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Thank you for putting up with my period moods. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face and bringing joy into my life. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to always come see me and make our little getaways so memorable. Thank you for being you, for being so kind, so considerate, so loving, so forgiving, so patient and just so wonderful.
Thank you for being ever present, for being understanding, for indulging my fantasies, for making me feel (cliche I know) like the luckiest girl in the entire universe! Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for not only encouraging me to dream, but for dreaming with me. Thank you. Thank you for showing me everyday what love is.
I was binge watching a Korean series earlier (Something in the Rain) and there's this one part where the girl records a little love message to the guy and it goes:
" Thank you. Thank you for caring about me and loving me. I didn't know that I could be loved so much by someone. You probably didn't know how grateful and happy I am these days. I'm also learning a lot from you. I learned that love is about giving your all to that one special person to the best of your abilities. That's why when someone's in love they should love like you do."
It still baffles me how I've found someone so perfect. I truly am very blessed to have you.
I love you.
Meow.
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