Speed Reading...

...one of the many things I've acquired over the many years through my love affair with books.

I just put down Tracy Anne Warren's 'His Favourite Mistress'.

And I scrunched up my nose and literally went "Awww" after reading the finals lines of the book.

A typical romance novel, set during and after World War II, although the war in itself was not described.

It starts off with the seventeen-year-old heroine, Gabrielle, going after a man in vengeance for killing her father. 

Or so she thought. 

In actual fact, this man she goes after, Rafe, was attacked by her father and whatever happened was the exact opposite of what she was told.

So she sneaks up on him in his study one night dressed as a man and points a gun at him and says his time has come only to realize that the person she's about to shoot isn't Rafe. It's Wyvern.
His wit, charm and good looks catch her off guard and he manages to get a hold of her gun, disarming her just as Rafe walks in.
She finally learns about her father, et cetera, et cetera and Rafe offers her a place in his home as family seeing as to how she is actually his niece. At first she declines, her pride and ego coming in the way, but then she thinks it through and returns, becoming part of a family she never really had.

Over the course of many months, she and Wyvern form a bond of some sort. They become good friends blah blah blah and he simply can't get enough of her.

He's a rake who wants nothing to do with marriage and she's an innocent who wants to get married and have a family of her own.

Rafe and his wife Julliana take Gabrielle to London for the Season at Almacks and whilst there, Rafe asks Wyvern to watch over her. He does exactly that but Gabrielle soon falls for him as he does for her, only he doesn't acknowledge the fact. He has it in his head that he only wants her physically. Nothing more, nothing less.

He ravishes her. Holds her, kisses her, touches her, but tells himself this will go no further, until one day when the whole family is out watching fireworks and a riot breaks out. The two of them take a stroll away from the crowd and after the riot is over, Erika Hewitt passes them by in her carriage. 

Erika was one of Wyverns many mistresses, until he broke ties with her weeks back, just after Gabriella pointed that pistol at him. Erika takes them back to Rafe's house and that very night, she blackmails Wyvern saying that she'll tell all the ton of what she saw (the two of them together taking a stroll).

A rake and an innocent, what will they think?

The only way for her to stay quiet about it is if he would have her back as his mistress but he doesn't want that. In order to keep Gabriella's dignity in tact and reputation maintained, he asks for her hand in marriage so that no matter what is said by the ton, everyone will know that they are married.

She's overjoyed by the proposal (and doesn't know the real reason behind it), although he wants it done within five days. They honeymoon at one of his estates for two months and return to London after that.

During a Christmas party at their place one evening, Wyvern and his friend Ethan are talking in his study. They talk about family and then they broach the subject on Wy's sudden proposal to Gabby. He confesses that he did it to save her reputation. He said that they both get along very well and there is, without a doubt, a very strong physical connection but when asked if he loved her, he said "No." very clearly. And Gabby was just outside the study, overhearing this conversation. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop but it happened.

For many days she feigns being unwell, retreating to her bed chamber, wanting to be alone.

Finally when Wy leaves for a day trip on business, she packs up her belongings and leaves, heading over to her friend Maude's place. She leaves a note for Wy telling him she wants to be alone and that she will return when she's ready.

Wy finds her a week or so later, demanding answers as to why she left and that she return home immediately. She has no choice but to oblige. 

They're relationship is strained and Wy doesn't seem to understand why. Gabby asks for a divorce and moves into a townhouse near Rafe's place.

Wy visits her one day trying to reason with her and get her to come back home but she is still adamant about finalizing the divorce.

He refuses to sign any papers. Till death to us part, he said. And that's exactly how it will be. In the end he reminds her that he has certain marital rights over her, ones that she has to fulfill as a wife. She promises him an heir but still refuses to go back home, saying he can come over to exercise his 'rights' and leave right after.

This arrangement goes on for quite some time, but when Wy asks her to come home again, she firmly abates yet again. They have another row and he leaves.

During an event one evening, he sees Gabby in the company of a male companion. Jealousy ensues and he tells the gentleman to lay off. Only then does it dawn on him that he's actually in love with her. That he's been in love with her ever since, only he was too hard-headed to see it, to accept it.

He starts sending her flowers with sweet little notes, confections, more notes, and finally he asks for permission to call upon her and to court her properly. When she agrees and they meet, he tells her he loves her, expecting her to come back but she is weary and doesn't believe him. Afraid she'll be hurt again.

Finally when they attend a ball one night, he professes his love for her in front of all the guests present, and makes a public wedding proposal.
And they lived happily ever after blah blah blah.

It was so cheesy. So very corny. But I'd like to believe these things still happen.

"My dearest Gabriella," he intoned. "I want to say what is in my heart before you and all these good people. I am doing this without shame or pride, so there can be no misunderstanding and no more doubts. I love you with everything I am and all that I possess. Since we met, there has been no one else. There can be no one else because you are the only one. My only true love. I used to say that I would never beg - woman or man - but I am here before you tonight begging you to forgive me for any hurt I have caused. Beseeching you to believe me when I tell you that I love you and cannot live another day knowing we are apart. Wherever you are, that is where you will find my heart. Where you go, that is where I long to be. If you cannot bear the sight of me, tell me now and I will leave you in peace. But if you return my affection, pray end my present misery and say you will be mine."

This is what he says to her in front of everyone.

I told you it was cheesy.

But the fact that he was willing to let go of his pride and ego to win her back means everything.

Beseeching, he says.  

There can be no one else. 

...to forgive me for any hurt I have caused.

...say you will be mine.

Love is a funny thing.

Loving someone and being in love with someone are two entirely different things.

You can love someone, but still be repelled by certain things they say or do.
When you're in love with someone, you fall for everything they are. Everything they've become.

I think at the end of the day it's something you have to experience to thoroughly understand.

All these years I never wanted anything to do with such affections. Through out high school all my friends knew me as 'Transformer Mama' coz I used to say I'd rather marry my favourite super cars or super bikes rather than be married to an actual individual, let alone be in a relationship with one of the opposite sex.

But as you grow up and start meeting people, you're bound to do at least some of the things you told yourself you wouldn't do back in the day.

I never got married, of course. But there was infatuation. The usual trail of crushes. That flutter in your chest when a good looking guy walks by. That tingling feeling when someone catches your eye across the room.

That kinda thing.

And I suppose you could even say I've loved.

Loved and lost.

But all is never fair in love and war, right?

I think everyone deserves to have that special someone at the end of the day. Someone to come home to after a long day at work. Someone to confide in when things go wrong. Someone to lean on when the going gets tough. Someone who understands you and accepts you in spite of every flaw. Someone you can trust. Someone who won't judge you.
Ah well. A girl can always dream.

Saves all the heartache anyway.

And aside from man there's also this wonderful companion called dog.