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Week 10

We just finished our mid semester final exams. Only two days but it feels like we've been studying forever.
Most of the surgery topics, Orthopaedics & Internal Medicine covered in 9 weeks.
Finished our theory papers yesterday. Internal Med in the morning and Surgery/Ortho in the afternoon. The afternoon paper was a killer. 30 multiple choice questions but each question had 5 sentences of which you had to read and mark if they were True or False. So in total, 30 questions times 5 is equivalent to 150 True or False questions. That was for Section A. For Section B we had short answer questions. 4 main questions and each of them had about 4 to 5 sub questions. And then for Section C we had 3 long answer questions which again had about 4 sub questions each.
We had to draw certain things, too; the hepatobiliary tree/tract, the pancreas in relation to the stomach etc, the inguinal canal (Google it :P), the thyroid. So many things.
You know when you have so many questions like that and you've studied for about one whole week and yet don't have enough time to properly answer everything it can be incredibly frustrating. The multiple choice questions took up a lot of time. I still had so much to finish within the last hour. It came to a point where I just gave up. I couldn't think anymore. It's like my brain just shut down.
The same thing happened today for the physical examinations we had to perform.
First part consisted of the general examination, cardiovascular system, respiratory system, abdomen and central nervous system. I was so nervous I couldn't think and it was so bloody embarrassing. I had to take the tendon hammer in with me so I put it on the bed, beside the patient after using it. Once the examiner told me I was done, I was so nervous I picked it up with a little too much force and it flung out of my grip and hit the wall behind me and fell to the floor. Absolute. Mortification. Quickly picked it up and ran out of the examination room. 
For the second part, we had to cover the joints, spine, shoulder, elbow, wrist, hip and knee. I studied everything. I practiced with and on my friends a few times. But no matter how much you practice or how much you study, once you get nervous, everything sort of gets stuck. You can't process the answers and even though the examiner asks you questions that you've answered before, you just can't seem to reply. And it's frustrating. It's so, so frustrating and so, so embarrassing because not being able to answer makes me feel like such an idiot.
Needless to say, I've been called back for a re-sit next week. Along with the rest of my class xD
So tired but can't seem to fall asleep.
The things you sacrifice when you do medicine. You sacrifice your sleep just to stay up studying, remembering, understanding, memorizing facts for never ending exams. You sacrifice your health, eating at odd hours in the middle of the night and skipping meals because your metabolic system has gone haywire and you don't even have proper time to exercise! You sacrifice the time you spend with your family because sometimes you have to cur your breaks short to come back earlier to study or catch up with lessons. You sacrifice relationships, putting them on hold or very simply don't get into one knowing full well you won't be able to handle it or give the other person what they want; like your time and energy because you spend it all on your books and classes. You sacrifice your Sundays by going to class instead of attending service in church. 
We've only got one day to rest and recuperate before the week starts again. Really can't wait to be home with the family soon.

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