Blast From The Past

Was talking to a friend of mine who was asking me about personal statements. That made me backtrack, and so I went through all my documents, all my folders, only to find that some important documents and pictures were deleted from my hard disc on my old DELL when it got infected by a virus.

So I went through my old e-mails hoping to have saved something in my UCAS application e-mails but no dice.

And then one by one I found all those application e-mails. To the University of Edinburgh. To the University of Nottingham. To the University of Liverpool. How close I was all those years ago. If only we had the money and if only someone had told me a year earlier to sit for my BMAT.

I'd probably be in my 4th year of medical school now. Halfway through perhaps. Studying with international students from all over the world. Traveling. Experiencing all the things I've ever wanted. Re-visiting all the places, all the countries I went to as a child.

Seeing all those old e-mails suddenly made me so, so sad.

So sad because it's always been a dream of mine to study medicine in the UK. Ever since I can remember.

So very sad.

But then again if I had gone abroad I probably wouldn't be the same person typing out this blog post.

I wouldn't have met all the crazy characters (good and bad) I met along the way. I suppose I'd have gone through other experiences.

Terribly upsetting, yes, but I'm still doing the course I've always wanted to do. So that's something, eh?

I still got to live away from home. I still got to travel and experience different things, different people. I broke, I fixed myself up, I brushed myself off, I stood back up again. I learned how to cook, how to see to the car, how to see to my own place, how to have fish without killing them, how to know whom to socialize with and whom to stay the hell away from.

I learnt that whatever it is you feel is based on your mindset and mentality. If you want to be happy, it's up to you to make it happen. Nobody is going to do things for you. Even if they do it's never for free anyway.

I learnt how to appreciate my parents and my friends. I learnt that not everything will last. I learnt how to love unconditionally. I learnt how to stay focused and disciplined and that not all car accidents can be hidden from your parents especially if there's insurance involved.

These past 4 years have been bittersweet.

Much sweeter now, though.

I don't know what plans God has for me, but I hope studying in the UK is one of them. Eventually.

Comments

Table Topics: Judgement & Understanding

Took one of my classmates out today coz she needed to get some things. She's been through a lot. Nothing I will disclose here but we had a pretty long chat in the car once we got back. And it's really true what they say about never judging someone before getting to know them. She opened up to me about everything that was going on. How she felt about things. How she was dealing with things. And at the end of the day it all boils down to understanding. There's a reason behind the things people do. It's simply a matter of accepting that reason and understanding them for it and them helping them get through it. You hear stories about married couples going through a divorce. It's really not an option anyone should think about after marriage. After all it's for better or for worse, right? But what if sometimes it becomes too much to bear? What if sometimes things get impossible to handle? What if that's the reason divorces happen in the first plac...

To Date.

I've recently been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award thanks to a friend of mine I've only known via Facebook for some years now. The blog post for that is still being drafted. I've been posed some pretty tricky questions /;) Haven't been blogging as frequently as I used to coz I didn't bring my laptop back home this time round. Didn't think I'd have much use for it. Things have been a little...crazy here to say the least. I'm actually twenty-one now. Though I must say, the word 'freedom' was never synonymous with this age. All I ever related to this milestone was responsibility. Funny. It's been such a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I could never completely describe it. I've been thinking about how I've celebrated my birthdays all these years. Two birthdays I celebrated away from home. My eighteenth, which was in the UK with Aunty M and Uncle T, and my twentieth, which was in Johor with my classmates and a once...

Of Ends & New Beginnings

Eleven months ago I was about 20% suicidal. A lot has happened since then. Graduated just three days ago. It was really very emotional for me because I never really thought I'd make it this far. I'm actually a doctor now can you believe it? Many years ago I wrote something about myself that I felt made perfect sense. & it really has this past year; "If anyone were to fall for me, I daresay it wouldn't be for my looks, but rather the way they get to be themselves when they're with me." I have learnt so many things this year. A lot more than I have in a while. I've learnt not to judge anyone solely on the way they look, because even the ones most displeasing to the eyes have qualities about them which you cannot help but to love and admire. If anything, or if something is meant for you, you will have it somehow. You may have to walk through hell and back to get it, but it will be yours for the taking if that's what God has decided...

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

Search This Blog