Early Morning Musings

It's just after 4 in the morning.

I've been going days without proper sleep. Weeks, even.

I either fall asleep and wake up around 3 in the morning or don't sleep at all, just toss and turn all night.

Back home again for my semester break and even with my meds I'm so wide awake.

The past few weeks and months have gone by really fast. I'm finally done with my 7th semester. Another 3 more to go until I'm done with this whole course. It's exciting but at the same time also really daunting.

Things have been going well otherwise.

Finally getting into the whole make-up thing. My mission these next 2 weeks is to learn how to do those winged eyeliner thingys so that for the annual dinner next month I'll be able to do it for myself instead of having my friends do it for me. Fingers crossed.

Was trying to find this song I heard on the radio the other day but can't seem to remember the lyrics.

So many things going on in my head but I can't seem to put them into words.

So many things.

I find it so difficult to wear my heart on a sleeve. I feel so much, sometimes too much all at once but I have a really hard time showing it.

I am in constant need of reassurance. I need to know how other people feel about things before I let my guard down and reciprocate.

It's so confusing sometimes.

"Teach my to feel again, in all the ways that I've forgotten."

Comments

Table Topics: Judgement & Understanding

Took one of my classmates out today coz she needed to get some things. She's been through a lot. Nothing I will disclose here but we had a pretty long chat in the car once we got back. And it's really true what they say about never judging someone before getting to know them. She opened up to me about everything that was going on. How she felt about things. How she was dealing with things. And at the end of the day it all boils down to understanding. There's a reason behind the things people do. It's simply a matter of accepting that reason and understanding them for it and them helping them get through it. You hear stories about married couples going through a divorce. It's really not an option anyone should think about after marriage. After all it's for better or for worse, right? But what if sometimes it becomes too much to bear? What if sometimes things get impossible to handle? What if that's the reason divorces happen in the first plac...

To Date.

I've recently been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award thanks to a friend of mine I've only known via Facebook for some years now. The blog post for that is still being drafted. I've been posed some pretty tricky questions /;) Haven't been blogging as frequently as I used to coz I didn't bring my laptop back home this time round. Didn't think I'd have much use for it. Things have been a little...crazy here to say the least. I'm actually twenty-one now. Though I must say, the word 'freedom' was never synonymous with this age. All I ever related to this milestone was responsibility. Funny. It's been such a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I could never completely describe it. I've been thinking about how I've celebrated my birthdays all these years. Two birthdays I celebrated away from home. My eighteenth, which was in the UK with Aunty M and Uncle T, and my twentieth, which was in Johor with my classmates and a once...

Of Ends & New Beginnings

Eleven months ago I was about 20% suicidal. A lot has happened since then. Graduated just three days ago. It was really very emotional for me because I never really thought I'd make it this far. I'm actually a doctor now can you believe it? Many years ago I wrote something about myself that I felt made perfect sense. & it really has this past year; "If anyone were to fall for me, I daresay it wouldn't be for my looks, but rather the way they get to be themselves when they're with me." I have learnt so many things this year. A lot more than I have in a while. I've learnt not to judge anyone solely on the way they look, because even the ones most displeasing to the eyes have qualities about them which you cannot help but to love and admire. If anything, or if something is meant for you, you will have it somehow. You may have to walk through hell and back to get it, but it will be yours for the taking if that's what God has decided...

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

Search This Blog