Goodbye, 2016.

As I sit here by my window watching it drizzle and looking out at the mist that is blanketing the hills, I can't help but to think about all the people who will be counting down to the new year with their families, friends and loved ones in a matter of hours.

As always I will be here, at home, with my own family, waiting for the clock to strike 12 as we welcome in the new year, where we will have a family prayer and share a bottle of red amongst the four of us. 

I have come to realize a number of things this year, just like I usually do every year.

The difference this time is that it all makes perfect sense and I'm not running around like a headless chicken in my mind trying to figure out what the hell is happening or why things are the way they are or why people do the things they do.

This time it all just makes sense.

Ultimately, though, this year has taught me all about self worth. I've come to realize my value and I will no longer allow anyone to take me for granted. This has led to a number of friendships coming to an end and as difficult as they were to end, they really were necessary.

I held on time and time again for all the wrong people who never did the same for me. 

So one day I just let go.

And I remember distinctly when that day came, and I let go of all my sadness and hurt and pain, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because I finally stopped letting all that negative energy bother me. 

I just found it in me to let it all go.

Something else I'm constantly asking myself is what I want out of this life God has blessed me with (although there are day when I wonder if it's a blessing or a curse but we all know it's a blessing somehow).

I know of people who have planned their entire life from the time they get into college; They know where they're going to work, when they're going to get married, when they're going to get a car, a house, when they're going to travel and which country they'll be going to when.

My parents used to make me plan things as well.

We used to plan and plan and plan, thinking that if we plan far ahead we'll be ready to face the future better and not have to worry about doing things last minute.

But, no. It never happened that way.

Every single time they planned something for me it never worked out.

And over the years I've learned to just stop planning. I don't plan weekends out anymore. I don't plan on watching movies on a particular date and time. I don't plan my birthday celebrations anymore. I don't plan where I want to work or settle down.

I just don't make plans like that anymore. I've learnt to simply pray about things and let it happen. Or do things on the spot.

I believe very strongly that if things are meant to be, they will be. No matter what happens or what the hurdles may be, if that is what is supposed to happen, it just will. I just need to have faith.

And I find that things are so much less complicated this way, which in turn gives me so much peace of mind.

I'm truly thankful for all the wonderful people who have come my way, who have supported me when I was my lowest and who have been rays of light in all my darkest hours despite the distance.

I am thankful for every blessing that has come and continues to come my way.

Sending buckets full of love and light to everyone this new year. Have a wonderful, joyful and memorable one wherever you all are ❤